Today in Childhood Ruining: ‘Kool-Aid Man’ Gets a New Look

By: Lawrence Bonk

Ah, childhood. It was a time of Saturday morning cartoons, friendly dogs and, of course, the Kool-Aid Man. This wall-smashing mascot of everyone’s favorite sugary beverage became a celebrity in his own right, starring in cartoons, video games and even pieces of art. He was always at the ready with a jug of Kool-Aid and his radical catchphrase “Oh yeah!” Well, get ready to shed a tear for innocence lost. The Kool-Aid Man is receiving a makeover.

First of all, this new Kool-Aid Man will be computer generated. Think Jar Jar Binks but, uh, tastier. To keep up with the times, the company is also eschewing his famous catchphrase in favor of an actual personality. He will play the part of a normal guy, overwhelmed by celebrity, who just happens to also be a giant jug of Kool-Aid. Think Larry David but, uh, sugarier.

The transformation is in service of the company’s new liquid mix, which is simply squirted into water. Commercials featuring this new and “improved” Kool-Aid Man will premiere shortly. In the meantime, Captain Crunch still looks the same.

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