American (Kitchen) Horror Story: The Top 10

By: Mark Levine

With speculation boiling over for the new FX series, American Horror Story, we decided see what was fueling the fire.

It definitely has the clout -- check -- fresh from the creators of (Glee, Nip/Tuck).

Throw in a chock-full-of-shock thrill fest, a re-imagined haunted house tale and an all-star cast including Jessica Lange and Dylan McDermott, and you've got a potential water cooler situation.

Inspired, Cooking Channel cleaned out the kitchen and found some homegrown horror of our own -- sourced from a worst cook's contest on a sister site.

1) The Volcano Cake

Brace yourselves...  This is actually a bundt cake. For reals. (And there IS a difference between all-purpose flour and self-rising flour.)

2) Banana Bread FAIL

We shared this photo with our Culinary Staff to decipher what actually occurred here, but it remains a mystery like Bigfoot, the Yeti or the success of Snooki Polizzi.

3) Theresa's UNHOLY Chicken Mole

Throwing cheese at the problem isn't going to help you here, Theresa.

4) Red Velvet RAGE Cake

Decorating angry won't get you anywhere.

5) The Great Meatloaf Stuffed Peppers Monstrosity

These peppers: a) have been paved over with asphalt  b) mutated into caramel apples or c) are actually a band of rogue horseshoe crabs resting in the tomato patch for the night.

6) The 'This Will Shut Your Piehole' Pie

If you ever wondered how the continents formed, this is a nod to Pangea, as illustrated in peach pie.

7) The 'No Ace of Cakes' Birthday Cake

Not sure if anyone got out alive here, let alone lived to see another year.

8 ) Cheese Dip of Death

It's really all about plating.

9) The Chocolate Marshmallow Pecan Whaaaat?

From the chef:   " A disaster of a creation by my husband and I with some leftover melted chocolate, some marshmallow cream and some pecans...  Needless to say, it did not produce the fudgy yumminess I thought it would, and wound up in the garbage." :(

10) The San Andreas Cheesecake Faultline

Someday that entire cheesecake is going to fall right into the Pacific.

*BONUS:  Dead Alien or Fruit Pop Tart?

Since this wasn't discovered anywhere near Area 51, we'll have to go with pop tart but...

Have a Kitchen Horror Story of your own? Share it below in the Comments or post your pictures up on our Facebook page.

And catch American Horror Story Wednesdays on FX.

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