In the days of canvas sacks and hybrid vehicles and sustainable aspirations, it’s hard to enjoy a good food fight without a heavy heaping of guilt.

“The pork chop you used to slap your ex was alive at one point, and took a lot of resources to raise.”

So to satiate your desire for a food fight, and to pay homage to this weekend’s Oscars, we’re keeping our hands clean and turning to movie magic. Belly up and feast on these celluloid indulgences: our favorite (mostly vintage) movie food fights.

The quintessential 1980s summer camp food fight scene, between a young Kristy McNichol and Tatum O’Neal, with a cameo by a tiny Cynthia Nixon.

This 1974 comedy-Western features a pretty violent food fight, but we’d take it for a chance to get a pie in the face from Gene Wilder.

No food fight list is complete without a Stooges scene. We like to pretend this one is a blooper reel from Downton Abbey.

Aimed at tweens, yes, but this cafeteria war hits every mark on the food fight list: social groups of differing status, tangles of spaghetti and the very necessary battle cry of “foooood fiiiight!”

Woody Allen’s 1973 comedy, Sleeper, gets a nod for the most futuristic and absurdly restrained food fight. After Allen’s character has been cryogenically frozen and re-awakened in 2173, food is grown to enormous scale, and he is forced to smack a foe with a giant strawberry. This, friends, is our future.

Released in 1978, this college romp involves a bunch of uptight fraternity members and a gaggle of misfits like Bluto, played by the glorious John Belushi. Highlights include a tray stacked with toppling pastries, and Belushi spraying a table of jerks with mashed potatoes spit from his mouth. The wasteful pandemonium that ensues has been the food-fight gold standard for decades. One warning: you may never eat mashed potatoes again.