Some of you undoubtedly have heard the Scissor Sisters' viral dance anthem, " Let's Have a Kiki." The song chronicles a girl's night out gone terribly wrong - torrential rain, no cabs, and to top it all off -- police busting up the party. Frizzy hair, runny mascara, having to take the subway, and the NYPD: What could be worse? The only thing that could save this night is a Kiki: the ultimate after party.

We love ( a can't-stop-playing kind of love) this song.  So after endless repeats, we decided to riff off of our Party in Five series and see what it would take to throw the Kiki of our (wildest) dreams.

"Put on your heels" because even the cutest sneaks or flip-flops just won't cut it at this Kiki.

"Fire up the smoke machine" to make things dramatic -- and obscure everyone's vision.

If you don't have a friend named Pickles with a sexy rasp in his voice, we say improvise.

Get the Recipe: Kelsey's Quick Pickles (perfect for the party-planner in a rush)

"Lock the doors. Tight." Because only select favorites are VIP at our Kiki. We suggest you follow suit.

Here's where we really shine. We've got  wonderful cocktails to keep your Kiki maaarvelous.

If the smoke-bubble machine don't break the ice, this will relieve your social anxiety.

This lethal shot is the perfect Kiki-kickoff.

Because no Kiki would be complete without this lusty, liquor-laden sip.

The intoxicating aroma of lavender is sure to get you in the Kiki mood.

• WATCH: Alie and Georgia Make The Peter Piper Cocktail with Pickles
• LISTEN: Scissor Sisters' "Let's Have a Kiki"
• SWEAT: Nadia G.'s Deep-Fried Chiles
• DEVOUR: Smoke Daddy's Brisket
• ENTICE: Perfect Party Appetizers