How to Age Gracefully and Awesomely
One day, you’ll look in the mirror and — tsaketa — you’ll find a gray hair. Don’t you worry, my old friends, there’s dye for that! Sure, you may not be the spring organic chicken you once were, but let’s face it: You don’t want to become the next “housewife” of “city X” sporting one facial expression — surprise — with a questionably young boyfriend named Julio on your arm. Wait, Julio is a nice catch. You go, girl. Hot new boyfriends aside, I have some tips here that’ll help you accept getting older in bitchin’ style.
The end of your naturally brown or blond locks doesn’t mean the end of a cool hairdo. Be the silver fox you were destined to be, or finally be brave enough to rock that bleach blond or fire red you always wanted to try! And, hey, if you’ve decided to chop it off, make sure it’s hip — getting older doesn’t mean you have to sport purple curls.
Being old is not all slippers and housecoats. Hipsters might have taken over the grandma cardigan trend, but they can have it. No need to say goodbye to your animal prints or bold colors; there is no law saying old has to be boring. You’re a classy lady. Keep it up.
You are SO not limited to bridge games, bingo and family dinners. While you can start a movie club that makes the most of your matinee discount, an Iron Chef-style competition for the best pie recipe between you and your other foxy lady friends sounds like a much better idea. Girls night in (or out) has no age limit! If all else fails, you can hit the town and pull some pranks a la Betty White — she’s pretty awesome.
Hey, geezer, cheer up! Aging is natural and totally rad, as long as you embrace it. Don’t forget to put some young whippersnappers in their place, because now you totally can!