How to Make Your Own High Fructose Corn Syrup

Every now and then the little guy, the put-upon everyman, wins one. For decades now, the domineering hands of industrial monoliths have kept a stranglehold on high fructose corn syrup production. Some people want to make conspicuously sweet byproducts of corn themselves.
A designer named Maya Weinstein has created an artisanal kit for small-batch DIY high-fructose corn syrup. It contains everything one needs to make their own jars of ooey, gooey corn goodness. These ingredients include such popular favorites as alpha amylase and xylose. All the recipe requires is some slight mixing and boiling. Put it in everything you eat, even though it's probably there already!
Even though an immensely popular additive, high fructose corn syrup is currently unavailable to buy in stores.