Fake Foods of the Fake Future
Since the dawn of science fiction, creators of all stripes have imagined what we would be eating in the future. Sure, nary a one predicted the Hot Pocket or the Cronut, but that doesn’t stop them from trying. Here are some fake foods from a series of imagined fake futures.
Back to the Future Part II — Dehydrated Pizza
Back to the Future Part II is known for two things: cool futuristic gadgets and an astounding amount of product placement. The dehydrated pizza featured in the film kills both of those birds with one futuristic stone. It’s not only an amazing way to make pizza on the quick, but it’s also brought to us by both Pizza Hut and Black & Decker.
Soylent Green — Soylent Green
Spoiler alert! Soylent Green is people. The titular food of this hammy dystopian drama is, well, made from human beings. I sure hope that’s not what makes Shake Shack taste so good.
Blade Runner — Noodles
Sure, some dystopias have us grinding down human beings in order to make some tasty crackers. Others, however, have us still eating a yummy bowl of noodles. When Harrison Ford’s Rick Deckard isn’t busy chasing down murderous replicants, he enjoys relaxing with a bowl of the good stuff.
District 9 — Cat Food and Rubber
The prawns, as they are not-so-affectionately referred to by humans in District 9, are bug-like aliens with an obscene taste for Puddi brand cat food and rubber. This makes used-tire nachos topped with Purina a highly sought-after delicacy.
Futurama — Slurm
The most popular soda of the year 3000 even has its own Spuds MacKenzie-esque mascot character. It’s also made almost entirely out of worm excrement. Oh, well. You win some and you lose some.
Demolition Man — Taco Bell
In the year 2032, after a lengthy war, the only restaurant that survives to feed a hungry Sylvester Stallone is, inexplicably, Taco Bell. Those Doritos Locos Tacos must have done even better business than we thought.
Star Wars — Blue Milk
Sure, the Star Wars films may depict a galaxy in the distant past, but the characters still gotta eat. The food of choice for our daring rebels? A blue-ish substance known as Blue Milk or Bantha Milk. If that’s the only thing on the menu, it’s now more understandable why systems surrendered to the Empire so quickly.
The Fifth Element — Chicken Pills
In a faraway future populated by opera-singing Chris Tuckers, people prepare roast chicken by popping a “chicken pill” into the microwave. Two seconds later, out comes a gigantic whole chicken with all of the fixings. How does this work? Science!
A Clockwork Orange — Moloko Plus
Moloko is, essentially, milk. Moloko Plus, however, comes from the obscene amount of uppers said milk is laced with. Humanity has the capability to make this now, but, honestly, it doesn’t sound too appetizing.
Star Trek — Food Replicator
In the utopian future created by Gene Roddenberry, we no longer have to cook and prepare food or gather ingredients. We simply mumble “tea. Earl Grey. hot.” into a computer and out it comes. This technology might seem amazing to some, but it is particularly scary to those employed by a cable channel that teaches people how to cook.