Recipe courtesy of Carrie Brownstein, Jonathan Krisel, and Fred Armisen

Garlic Pickles

Bryce: Okay, so what you do is you take something and pickle it. Lisa: First you make the brine. Bryce: No one knows this, but pickling brine is delicious on its own. Just as a drink! Here, try it! Lisa: I'd rather just eat something pickled, thanks. Anything other than just straight brine. Bryce: They call it a "pickleback"! Lisa: Instead let's pickle . . . hmm, what do we have around here . . . an egg? Bryce: Pickled eggs. You just, wow . . . you described- like, actually my dream food. Anyway, see you tomorrow. I'm going to go take a sleeping pill and try really hard to dream about eating a pickled egg. Lisa: Or we could just pickle this egg. Bryce: Let's pickle that. Right away. Bryce: And there are so many other things out there you can go ahead and pickle at home! Lisa: Carrots! Okra! Beets! Broccoli. . . Bryce: Shoes! Lisa: You're going to be great at pickling. You've got this! You can pickle this! We know you can pickle this . . . Bryce: Just pick something and go ahead and pickle it. We're rooting for you. Bryce: and Lisa: Pickle it!
  • Level: Easy
  • Total: 8 hr 10 min
  • Prep: 10 min
  • Inactive: 8 hr
  • Yield: 2 quarts
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2 tablespoons whole coriander seeds

1 teaspoon whole black peppercorns

1 teaspoon allspice berries

2 cups water, plus more if necessary

4 to 6 long red or green hot chiles, halved lengthwise

6 large garlic cloves, halved

1 1/2 pounds Kirby cucumbers, ends scrubbed

3 tablespoons kosher salt

2 tablespoons sugar

1 1/4 cups distilled white vinegar (5 percent acidity)


  1. Pack the cucumbers into 2 quart-size jars.
  2. In another quart-size jar, combine the salt, sugar, vinegar, coriander seeds, peppercorns, and allspice berries.
  3. Close the lid and shake until the salt and sugar are dissolved.
  4. Add the 2 cups of water and pour the brine over the pickles.
  5. Tuck the chiles and garlic between the cucumbers.
  6. Add enough water just to cover the pickles and keep them submerged. Cover and refrigerate overnight. Can be stored in fridge only for up to 2 months.