Meet the Lab Assistants

What qualifies these individuals to decide the right and wrong way to eat besides decades of focused trial and error?
Misha is pursuing a PhD in Eatonomics, with a focus on supply and demand of melted cheese. His dissertation is entitled, "Conspicuous Consumption: A Comparative Study of Cheese Fry Recipes in Indigenous Populations."
Elizabeth is pursuing a PhD in Culinary Philosophy, with a dual focus on Plato's theories on plating and Nietzsche's theories on nachos. Her work on a platter made of one giant tortilla chip was featured recently in the German peer-reviewed journal Das Crunch.
Yvonne is pursuing a PhD in Gastronomic Psychology, with a focus on group dynamics at large meals. Her dissertation is entitled, "Family Style: Schizophrenia and Negotiating Pizza Topping Decisions."
Jamie is pursuing a PhD in Particle Acceleration, with a focus on ice cream particles and their acceleration towards his face. He's currently developing a cone that makes melting ice cream drip up instead of down, so it flies right into your mouth.

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So Much Pretty Food Here